Oh what a day

I know I know I know two blog posts in one day!! Don't panic lol. I have had a hell of a month! my daughter has been in the hospital and then released to a partial hospitalization program for the last almost four weeks. She was in for a week at the end of April and they pushed her out too early and with in a week and a half she bounced right back in. She suffers an anxiety disorder in the form of an adjustment disorder. I had the whole idea of an adjustment disorder misconstrued. I did not know that an adjustment disorder is anxiety caused by any change. Any change could mean a new hair cut, a new pair of shoes, new clothes, even a change in friends. She has been using cutting to cope with this anxiety. By cutting I mean she cuts herself, her arms, legs, even her sides. One of the things that has been bothering her lately is a falling out with her best friend since second grade. My daughter and her friend have been inseparable. When my daughter went into the hospital this last time it was for the cutting and she had a suicide plan and had even went so far as to write a suicide note. In the note she wrote a section to her "best friend" she wanted her to know that even if she never read it that she will always look at her as her best friend even if the other girl hates her. I sat and cried to think how much these two girls have been through together and now they do not even talk anymore. The have been through the other girls first boyfriend who was so controlling that she almost lost all of her friends because he would not let her "hangout with them" my daughter included, yet she stayed by her friends side. The two girls have parallels between their biological fathers as well and could help each other with the things that they deal with as children of alcoholics. My daughters father passed away when she was six and she still has some issues about him that the other girls still deals with now. I hate to see that anytime the other girls name is mentioned even if not about her my daughter bursts into tears. I want to hold her and tell her it will be OK but since the other girl wants to hang around with known drug users and one guy is also known as a drug dealer I can not tell my daughter that everything will be alright because i do not know if it will be. I am saying that all of the falling out is the other girls fault because it isn't. My daughter has made some bad choices and has since righted and changed those choices but if the other girl still wants to hold a grudge them maybe it is not worth my daughter still trying to be friends with her. I can only imagine how she feels. I have had the same best friend since I was seven in second grade. We have been friends for 25 years now. I think I would rather die than to loose her as a friend! We have been through so much together, she has made some of the worst choices and I have as well. But no matter what we have done (never to each other) but in general we have stood by each other! that is what real friendship is all about..There is a saying that goes like this: When the world walks out a true friend walks in!
this is what friendship is : it is accepting, giving, caring, understanding, and forgiving.
I hope the girls work it out soon I am tired of seeing my daughter so sad with out her friend and I miss the other girl...I just never thought that she could be so mean to some one she called her friend and the unfortunately the person she told us she hated my daughter being friends with she is now seen with almost daily. How the tides have turned!!